


It has been a journey

by tardisesandtitans



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mention of The Lone Gunmen, POV Female Character, Post The Erlenmeyer Flask, References Season One, Scully's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 18:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14170473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisesandtitans/pseuds/tardisesandtitans
Summary: After The X Files closes in 1994, Scully reminiscences on her short time, and reflects on how much she has changed. Post The Erlenmeyer Flask, and takes a little trip down memory lane.I do not own The X Files, it is owned by Chris Carter, and the FOX network.Scully's POV





	It has been a journey

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first X Files fic of many, and I spent a long time on this so I hope people can appreciate it :) Please forgive me if Scully is OOC, but I thought she was less stoic by the end of season one anyway. I wanted to post this before I started season two, but procrastination decided otherwise so here it is.

I have no idea what to believe anymore.  
Who I believe in, that's easier. I believe in Mulder. But what to believe in, even after everything I've seen... I can't. I refuse to. I'm a woman of science, and religion. And I'm afraid to believe.

'Trust no one'.  
I can't trust the government now. I had suspicions when I figured out I was only assigned to debunk The X Files, but that was because what they wanted me to do was so unexpected. I didn't realise how naive I was then. Maybe I still am, but I know more than I used to.  
Surely, Deep Throat meant trust no one else. Because even after the short time we've known each other, I trust Mulder implicitly.  
I meant what I told him when he had that unprofessional three day stakeout in front of the house of Eugene Tooms. I noticed how for once, Mulder was speechless. But how could I not say that? He's told me his biggest secret, which I'm not sure even the Lone Gunmen knew. He's told me he wanted to trust me and I could hear his sincerity and hopefulness. He hadn't once turned me away from a case, despite knowing I was sent to him to give the Bureau a reason to kick him out. (Which I can't bring myself to do, because it's unethical.) He's always treated me like a friend, save for the flirting. I've been told by my family that my actions encourage it, and I'm fine with that: I'm aware he respects me, and sees me as an equal.

We've saved each other many times and been through so much already.  
We've been thrust into situations that neither of us have had experience with, and came out of them stronger than ever.  
We've both been tempted to have lives outside of our work, and although we've seemed content with them; we've come back to each other as if nothing had happened.  
I have felt things I didn't know I ever would with Mulder. I've been more frightened and confused than I've been in my life, but enjoyed it more than I should have.

But we're being assigned to other branches. Different ones, of course. The government probably knows we got too close to the truth, and that their best Agent has showed them up time and time again...so they silence him.  
And now, as I write this like a field report because I need to rant somewhere, I never thought I'd feel this way. I'm devastated. I don't know if I'm over exaggerating, but I'm scared that I'm never going to feel that way again.  
I know I won't get to see Mulder not nearly as much, or the Lone Gunmen. (It was a pleasant surprise that they agreed with me about Gulf War Syndrome and UFOs...)

But whereas I have my old job back as being a professor at the Academy, he's been assigned to the most boring job I can think of. There's no practical work or exploring involved; even I can see that they reassigned him there deliberately to try and break his spirit. That cannot happen at any cost. There's always going to be hope.  
And I'm going to keep meeting him no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> I will probably edit this at some point, and I also can't decide whether to make something like this for every finale... it might happen anyway. I hope you liked this :)


End file.
